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Novembers Top 3 Dumbest Criminal Stories

Posted by rafael on December 21, 2012 in News

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” – Albert Einstein

Well folks, November is nearly done and over, and wouldn’t you believe it… some stupid people did some stupid things. Some of these ignoramuses were even brazen enough to break the law, without first considering it’s outcome. But considerations are for those that typically think before making a decision, and for these dumb criminals, thought is a rarity.

So to help remind us why logic and reason should be used everyday for all of the decisions we make, let’s go over what the dumbest criminals of November decided to do. Remember crime isn’t funny, but it’s certainly hard to not laugh at these idgits. So without further ado, let’s have a good chuckle at the stupendous foolish nature of these miscreants.

The Ebarb Family Feud

Billy Wayne and Jay Ebarb have been fighting for 30 years. The latest misunderstanding was over the ownership of a trailer. In an attempt to settle the difference, like gentlemen, Billy rammed his 1982 Ford truck into his brother Jays 1990 Chevrolet. The collision caused damage to both vehicles, and Jay Ebarb as well. Afterwards, Billy fled the scene leaving his vehicle behind.

As police were investigating the scene, Billy knowing they would figure out the truck belonged to him, came casually strolling up to the officer and admitted it was his vehicle and he caused the accident. The odd thing is that Billy was generally the brothers’ better half. As Jay Ebarb had rap sheet that seemed endless. Jay’s prior crimes committed included ten cases of public intoxication, burglary, theft, intoxicated assault, assault-family violence, assault of an officer, criminal mischief, driving while intoxicated, drug charges, retaliation, and evading arrest.

When A Poorly Designed Plan Goes Bad

Eight northern Minnesotans, five adults (Kevin Forer 18, Brandtly Hutson 18, Kimberly Ryan 36, Branagen Theisen 21, and Zack Stewart 18) as well as three minors who cannot be named as they’re juveniles, devised a plan to rob and kill a Fikret Saric as well as his family for robbing them of $200 and $200 worth of marijuana.

The plan was to arm themselves with bear mace, a knife, a lead pipe, a crowbar, a baseball bat, a machete as well as a gun. Then approach Fikret under the guise of purchasing some marijuana. Once inside his home, they planned to kill him, as well as his family, and burn the house down to hide the evidence. However, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

Upon approaching Fikrets home, Fikret noticed the weapons that the bumbling band of mischiefs were carrying. So to defend his family and himself, Fikret armed himself with a pistol and drove the gang from his property. Firing off shots into the two vehicles they arrived in. But Fikret didn’t stop there, as the gang fled, he hopped in his car with some friends and gave chase. The would-be murders were fleeing from being murdered by the person they intended to kill. They were so terrified that they actually called 911 to report Kifret was trying to kill them.

When the police caught up, the gang argued that they were merely trying to purchase some marijuana from Fikret and for some reason he went ballistic. However, one of the conspirators’ daughters overheard the haphazard plot, and informed the police once the event had passed.

Criminal Stories

Criminal Stories

Fikret faces up to 40 years in prison for attempted murder, while the conspirators face up to 30 years for conspiracy to commit murder and conspiracy to commit assault. This story is quite literally filled to the brim with failure, and thankfully Fikrets innocent family was not harmed in the process.

Not A Scintilla Of Understanding Of The Electoral Process

Holly Solomon of Mesa Arizona honestly believed that her family was going to be facing tremendous hardship now that Obama has been re-elected. She was so certain of this fact that she became enraged when she found out her husband had failed to vote in the recent election. She also then blamed her husband for Romney’s loss because of his failure to vote.

The argument between Holly and her husband erupted on a Saturday morning in a parking lot. Witnesses told police that the married couple were yelling and arguing for quite some time before Holly eventually jumped into her Jeep, and began chasing her husband around the parking lot.

This continued for some time, Holly chasing and yelling, as her husband repeatedly tried to hide behind a light pole. Finally Holly got the angle just right and managed to run her husband over, pinning him under the jeep and against a curb. The husband was in critical condition at the hospital, while Holly was sent to jail on charges of domestic violence and aggravated assault. There was no indication that Holly was inebriated in any way at the time of the assault. Goes to show, had she only paid attention in her Social Science classes in school, she would have known her husbands single vote would not have helped, as Obama had won 0 of the 11 electoral votes Arizona is permitted. Thus making it a truly senseless crime.

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The author of this article is Damien S. Wilhelmi. If you enjoyed this piece, you can follow me on twitter @FacePalmLaw. If you or a loved one has been in an commercial accident in Colorado, it is highly advised that you seek a Denver Truck Accident Attorney to represent you.

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