How The Date Is Going? You Can Tell By The Way She Walks
Scientists have been studying the phenomenon for years, but they still don’t know why so many women insist on wearing uncomfortable shoes. The problem is so pervasive that, chances are, your next date will be with one of the millions of women who walk around with aching feet every day. As the evening progresses, the chances that her shoes will ruin your date increase exponentially. Until modern science develops a cure for masochistic footwear tendencies, here are a few ways to tell how your date is going by the way she walks.
The Stand Still
You meet your date at her doorstep. It’s freezing outside. As you chat on the stoop about where to go, you’re hopping from one foot to the other for warmth, but she hasn’t moved. It’s not that she isn’t freezing. It’s just that icy numbness in her legs is less trouble than the ache in her feet.
They don’t hurt yet but they’re notoriously painful. Last time she wore them, they brought her near tears. This time she knows not to do anything to make them mad — like walking. What can you do to keep the date going as scheduled? Offer to swing around to the stoop to pick her up or offer to take a cab even if the restaurant is only three blocks away.
The Tip Toe
When your date finally does get walking, she looks kind of like a cartoon villain sneaking up on an unsuspecting victim. Sure it’s kind of funny, but have some compassion. Her feet are so uncomfortable that she’s having trouble walking like a normal human being.
If your date destination requires less than a block of walking, she’ll be fine. After all, she’s used to the pain. She even thinks hopping around like a crippled bird is kind of cute. Her brain is disabled because all of her blood is in her feet. Don’t bother asking her if her feet are OK, she’s still so deep in denial that she’ll say it’s fine.
pain in her toes
The Ginger
Things are getting worse, but she likes you so she’s still trying to pretend like she’s still having a good time. You can tell she isn’t because she’s walking like a fawn in the woods that smells danger: she puts each foot down, pauses to brace herself and then takes another. When she’s not talking or laughing, she’s staring straight ahead with a glassy look in her eyes. That’s because her brain’s busy going “it doesn’t hurt that bad, it doesn’t hurt that bad”.
Now’s not a terrible time to ask if she’s OK. If she admits that her feet hurt, why not be a gentleman and reconfigure the date so you spend most of it sitting down. Or, suggest you stop somewhere quick to pick up some more comfortable shoes. If she smiles and says that she’s fine, let it go. Some people have to learn their lessons the hard way.
The Wobble
Things have gotten worse. She’s still mobile, but when she walks, her ankles bend left and right at horrifying angles. That’s because after being taxed with supporting all of her weight for the entire evening, her ankles have gone on strike. Without ankle support, she can’t balance and now she looks kind of like she has Parkinson’s from the waist down.
The best thing you can do? Take away her drink before she spills it and find her a comfy place to sit down. She’ll be grateful and people will stop staring. Do not suggest more comfortable shoes at this point. She is at a crucial decision-making point and your smarmy comment might convince her to choose a comfortable shoe-less evening in bed over a few more drinks with Captain Obvious.
The “Party’s Over”
The pain in her toes and heels stabs and throbs with every step. It’s really bad. You can tell because she no longer cares what she looks like or what you think of her. Her face is flushed and grimacing. When she’s not wincing, she looks like she’s about to cry.
Don’t bother asking her if her feet hurt, she can’t hear you. She’s fantasizing about how good it’s going to feel to take those shoes off. Or, what horrors she’d inflict on the shoe’s manufacturer given half the chance. What can you do now? Just take her home. If you’re lucky, the experience will help her swear off uncomfortable shoes forever and you’ll actually get to enjoy your next date instead of worrying about her feet.
Deena Walters is a nurse, a mother of three, and a writer for Uncomfortable Foot. Due to years of walking and standing in bad shoes in hospitals, and thanks to her husband’s career as an orthopedic surgeon, she considers it her mission to help people find comfort shoes for every day use.
